Lim Guan Eng going through middle-aged crisis
Dear YB Betty Chew,
I hope you have got over the traumatic experience of dealing with your husband, who like many men of his age, goes through what is known as the middle-aged crisis. Some says it is middle-aged itch.
We hope that he has learnt from his adulterous adventures. Despite the humiliation and the public brave front by both of you, he seems able to survive any political fallout.
He has followed every advice given by Dr Chen Man Hin, who sent an e-mail to every DAP central executive committee member – deny, deny and deny – which he said was the best weapon in every scandal.
Never be like Dr Chua Soi Lek, who was man enough to admit his controversy. Be like Anwar Ibrahim, Azmin Ali and, of course, your husband. Deny, deny and deny.
Blame everyone especially the previous Gerakan state government and especially MCA except Guan Eng.
After all, those idiotic DAP groupies will believe everything they are told.
But the point we are writing to you is this. We have received very disturbing information that Guan Eng – the Dear Leader and your Dear Husband – is plotting to convince you to defend your Malacca state seat!
He is taking the leaf from his adulterous friends – Anwar Ibrahim and Mohd Sabu!
He will tell you that he needs you in Melaka to provide the stabilising factor because the Melaka DAP leaders hate your husband.
He will tell you that as his wife, he can only count on you to make sure the rebels in Melaka do not plot against him, again.
But we think Dear Leader just want to pack you off to Melaka! Once you are there, you will be bogged down fighting the anti-Guan Eng forces.
You wouldn’t even have time to go to the hair salon!
Make sure, you take care of yourself, you look haggard and tired now. You need a facial – always remember Rainbow is just behind you!
The scheming Dear God is unhappy you are now by his side at every function.
He is feeling uneasy. Each time you are seen by his side, the people of Penang are reminded of his affair with Rainbow aka Ng Phaik Kheng. But if you are not by his side, you feel insecure.
We understand your predicament. We understand that Rainbow has NOT given up her hope on Dear Leader.
She is still very angry that you confronted and beat her but please remain strong and more importantly, stay in Penang to keep an eye on him.
Watch for the tell tale signs. Make sure he sticks to his oily combed back hairstyle.
His attempt to have a layer cut hair-style was a mistake. Check his hand phone.
Is he still taking phone calls in the toilet and garden – away from you?
Is he talking of slimming down and watching his waist?