Child’s “parents” NOT their “best friends”
By Oze Marketing ( Raviraj )
Most parents enjoyed reading the fairy tales to their toddlers, the monsters came but the good guys always won out in the end, and everyone lived happily ever after. But what happens when parents have the child who believes they are entitled to have everything they want – all the time. They child has now adopted the Mirror Mirror On the Wall, Who’s the Greatest Child of All syndrome and believe the entire universe not only revolves around them, but owes them as well.
Remember the most important rule is that parents are supposed to be the child’s “parents” NOT their “best friends”. It’s not a popularity contest, so be prepared for the name calling, rage, and tantrums when they fail to get their way. Be consistent, be tough, and stand your ground as a parent, the arrogance and vanity will soon enough define them as a pain in the neck (or lower regions as the case may be).
Kids today all seem to believe they are entitled to everything they want because of peer pressure, parents are working harder and away more to make ends meet and the regulations on what parents are “allowed” to do to discipline children makes parenting difficult. Children are taught in school that if their parents are mean/abusive they can call the police and report them, and many children think it’s abusive because they didn’t get their way or the new toy they wanted. Either way parents live in a much more difficult world today than when they were growing up.
Kids today want instant gratification for everything. There’s fast food, everything they want to know about on the internet, instant texting, and the competition in school is fiercer than ever before. Life is moving at warp speed and parents are generally too tired to keep up.
There’s a great word in the English language (and all others for that matter) that more parents need to practice. It’s a simple little two-letter word – NO. Stop giving them everything they want even though it’s the easier to avoid a fight. It may take some practice and the children today know they can wear their parents down with the broken record and they know their parents give in if they just keep asking over and over and over. Practice saying “No”, and have consequences for the child who nags.
Teach children from a very early age that they have to earn the things they want. For little kids it could be as simple as picking up their toys and putting them up. For older kids, it’s doing chores around the house that they can earn some money to save. When the child has gotten the item because they earned it, they will appreciate it a lot more, have a sense of accomplishment, and the feeling of entitlement will begin to diminish until it’s an old story that parents will tell on them when they have their own kids. And don’t give them the rest of the money because “she’s so close to earning the money”. That still teaches them they are entitled to be “bailed out” and they’ll never learn to finish the job.
Manners are extremely important to get that entitlement feeling headed down the road. Children must be taught common courtesy, manners, and being a good sport. All too often today, children are given a trophy for participating. They did nothing more than show up, and that is not what life is all about. They need to learn how to handle disappointments. They need to learn common courtesy of saying “Please”, “Thank you”, and “You’re welcome”. And above all they need to learn to be a good sport when they are on the team who lost and congratulate those on the winning team. It gives them an incentive to try harder the next time. Be sure to acknowledge them when they are seen using the proper manners and being a good sport because it reinforces the good behavior.
When parents are continuously enabling their “Mirror Mirror On the Wall, Who’s the Greatest Child of All” child, it not healthy for either of them. It’s also not conducive to teaching the child to be the self-reliant or responsible person who is accountable for their actions, and it will be a detriment to having a successful life and career.